The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

Perhaps I’m just the average male. Maybe it’s not unusual to obsess over women the way that I do, but in any event, my real or perceived obsession with women has led me to the obvious question; “Why do I spend so much time thinking about them?” Since then I have spent many hours in contemplation over this question and to be honest, I have learned little to nothing about why.

Maybe it has something to do with a magical power that all pretty women have. Often times I will find myself paralyzed by the sight of beautiful women, also I find myself acting much different around them. Worse yet is when I try to speak and everything I say comes out totally wrong. This evidence would suggest something of the mystic arts, but this still seems an unlikely reason.

What then could it be? I almost feel like women are totally different creatures, a different species even. They are such a mystery to me. I’ve spoken to a few women, and they tell me that women are not significantly different then men. They are only as different as one person is to another. It seems that I’ve come to another dead end.

Having exhausted all of my female sources of information, I turned to my fellow men. After several hours of conversation, it would seem that my lack of experience with women is the root of my obsession. Having no experience, according to my friends, is the reason that I can’t get them off my mind. Supposedly, getting a girlfriend and getting laid will cause I paradigm shift, of this though, I am doubtful.

So which is it? What is it that draws me to pretty women? What gives them such a demanding presence in my thoughts? What gives them this power over my waking and sleeping mind? After all of time I’ve spent trying to figure out why, I can only say that I don’t have the faintest idea. It would seem that the only thing I’ve accomplished is deepening my obsession of them.

Quote of the post: “Proof of heaven, as you’re living, pretty women” Sweeney Todd from the musical Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street by Stephen Soundheim